Remaking Women & Sexual Ethics and Islam

In the text Remaking Women, Afsaneh Najmabadi touches base on the notion that newly veiled women of the Middle East are equal products of the modernity as upper and middle class women who unveiled themselves in the turn of the 20^th century. Specifically, in the chapter “Crafting an Educated Housewife in Iran” Najmabadi focuses on shifts of the meaning of “mother” and “wife” for women as well as the roles men were supposed to play in marriage. A postmodern normative concept was that “the father, not his wife, was the manager of the household and in charge of the discipline and education of the children…”(92). The women were not expected, sometimes not even wanted, to be the caretaker or educator of the child. Women were seen most useful for the ability to carry a child in their womb. Often times that alone was their only job, as it was believed the child would gain its ethics and character traits from the mother while in her womb. In the first years of the 21^st century, Iranian reformers began to argue that “reform regarding women’s status was women’s education” (101). A new way of thinking began to arise and it was believed that women’s education needed to improve for the sake of a prosperous civilization. Mother’s eventually gained more respect and they began to take charge of girls’ education by encouraging and creating the means to organize fund-raising events and prove free schooling in their homes for those who could not afford to receive an education.

In the chapters “Marriage, Money, and Sex” and “Lesser Evils”, Kecia Ali starts by discussing the sexual subordination required by Muslim women in both Muslim cultures and Islamic belief. She argues against several Muslim authors, one being Abdul Doe, with his conception that men always willingly fulfill their expected duties as a Muslim man. Ali argues that Islam is “men’s Islam” because the interpretation and regulation is done by men and male scholars. Ultimately, she pushes for advocacy to reconsider dower, spousal support, and intermarriage to form a new structure of egalitarian marriage. The concept of a dower in marriage is most problematic. The common idea of including a dower in marriage is to ensure the husbands words to provide for his wife and family and create an economic safety net. Jurist’s, however, shine light on it to be a form of control and dominance for the husbands to have over their wives and children. Ali brings up sexuality as another problematic marriage topic. “Significant texts in the Qur’an and hadith allude to the importance of female gratification and satisfaction in the sexual act” (7). In marriage, women have sexual rights and Ali highlights the dissociation of sex from reproduction. However, even though it categorized as a woman’s “right” to such pleasure, the concept of women being obligated to keep their husbands sexual pleased often overrides that right.

Though Muslim women have made great efforts in gaining some respect and rights, there is still a lot of equality to fight for. In terms of marriage, what should/should not be expected of both the husband and wife to create a more egalitarian relationship?