Week 10: Motherhood, Marriage and Divorce in Islam

Divorce trial in Indonesia. Photo: www.jawapos.com

Islam and modernity has always been an interesting topic in the Muslim world, especially among Muslim feminists. With the social and economic changes, Muslim feminists face challenges regarding several issues such as motherhood, marriage and divorce. In the chapters “Marriage, Money and Sex” and “Lesser Evils: Divorce in Islamic Ethics” in Kecia Ali’s book Sexual Ethics and Islam, the position of women in Islam regarding marriage, money, sex and divorce is unpacked through the feminist lens by reflecting on the Qur’an, Hadith and jurisprudence. The most interesting part of this piece lies in the second chapter. I found it very appealing as Ali attempted to constantly present the challenges occur in the modern world. She did this for instance by describing the clashes that might happen with the civil system regarding divorce especially for Muslim people living in Western country such as the United States. At the end of the chapter, she expressed her optimism toward a better position of women in divorce by giving examples of the reforms to divorce laws that have been happening in the contemporary Muslim world while still admitting that in Islamic law divorce is a prerogative right entitled to men. She also invited us to rethink about divorce in Islam by positing questions such as “but are the verses on divorce meant to apply in every possible situation, or are they specific in some way to seventh-century Arabia? If they can be modified, on what basis should one do so, and how far can one go in altering specific rules?” (38). The piece shows how Islam is a multi interpretative religion and how it can try to adapt in modern time such as today.

            Meanwhile, the role of Muslim women as housewife and motherhood in the Iranian context is described in the piece “Crafting an Educated Housewife in Iran” by Afsaneh Najmabadi. The chapter showed how “the modern educational regimes, deeply gendered from the start, were central to the production of the woman of modernity through particular regulatory and emancipatory impulses” (91). In the article, the education rights for women are slowly gained by the changing role of housewife to the manager of household affairs and educator of the children. Therefore, the (male) children need to be raised by educated housewife to guarantee the progress of the nation. The notions of disciplinary and regulatory brought the “acceptable social space for freedom for modern woman” (113). This article displayed how Islam met some challenges in modern time and once again trying to compromise in finding its place in the contemporary world.

            As the world progresses so fast, Islam is often faced by several modernity challenges. What stood out for me the most in these two pieces and the documentary Divorce Iranian Style is how Islam as a religion that is often assumed as backward and rigid, can be so flexible in finding its way in modern world. I think these pieces did a good job in putting Islam in a different light other than as this backward and rigid religion that might not be suitable with modernity. I wonder what other things can be done outside the scholarship to enforce this. What can Muslim feminists in particular and feminists in general do in order to make people seeing Islam in a different light as an attempt to cope with Islamophobia? I also wonder if Muslim feminists may have a totally different approach in gaining their own definition of equality. The pieces also make me think about the Muslim marriage and divorce back in Indonesia. Since it is not a Islamic Republic, the Muslim marriage and divorce also shaped itself between Islamic law and the legal system inherited by the Dutch colonizer. 

Week 10: Motherhood, Marriage and Divorce in Islam

Divorce trial in Indonesia. Photo: www.jawapos.com

Islam and modernity has always been an interesting topic in the Muslim world, especially among Muslim feminists. With the social and economic changes, Muslim feminists face challenges regarding several issues such as motherhood, marriage and divorce. In the chapters “Marriage, Money and Sex” and “Lesser Evils: Divorce in Islamic Ethics” in Kecia Ali’s book Sexual Ethics and Islam, the position of women in Islam regarding marriage, money, sex and divorce is unpacked through the feminist lens by reflecting on the Qur’an, Hadith and jurisprudence. The most interesting part of this piece lies in the second chapter. I found it very appealing as Ali attempted to constantly present the challenges occur in the modern world. She did this for instance by describing the clashes that might happen with the civil system regarding divorce especially for Muslim people living in Western country such as the United States. At the end of the chapter, she expressed her optimism toward a better position of women in divorce by giving examples of the reforms to divorce laws that have been happening in the contemporary Muslim world while still admitting that in Islamic law divorce is a prerogative right entitled to men. She also invited us to rethink about divorce in Islam by positing questions such as “but are the verses on divorce meant to apply in every possible situation, or are they specific in some way to seventh-century Arabia? If they can be modified, on what basis should one do so, and how far can one go in altering specific rules?” (38). The piece shows how Islam is a multi interpretative religion and how it can try to adapt in modern time such as today.

            Meanwhile, the role of Muslim women as housewife and motherhood in the Iranian context is described in the piece “Crafting an Educated Housewife in Iran” by Afsaneh Najmabadi. The chapter showed how “the modern educational regimes, deeply gendered from the start, were central to the production of the woman of modernity through particular regulatory and emancipatory impulses” (91). In the article, the education rights for women are slowly gained by the changing role of housewife to the manager of household affairs and educator of the children. Therefore, the (male) children need to be raised by educated housewife to guarantee the progress of the nation. The notions of disciplinary and regulatory brought the “acceptable social space for freedom for modern woman” (113). This article displayed how Islam met some challenges in modern time and once again trying to compromise in finding its place in the contemporary world.

            As the world progress so fast, Islam is often faced by several modernity challenges. What stood out for me the most in these two pieces and the documentary Divorce Iranian Style is how Islam as a religion that is often assumed as backward and rigid, can be so flexible in finding its way in modern world. I think these pieces did a good job in putting Islam in a different light other than as this backward and rigid religion that might not be suitable with modernity. I wonder what other things can be done outside the scholarship to enforce this. What can Muslim feminists in particular and feminists in general do in order to make people seeing Islam in a different light as an attempt to cope with Islamophobia? I also wonder if Muslim feminists may have a totally different approach in gaining their own definition of equality. The pieces also make me think about the Muslim marriage and divorce back in Indonesia. Since it is not a Islamic Republic, the Muslim marriage and divorce also shaped itself between Islamic law and the legal system inherited by the Dutch colonizer. 

Muslim Women's Roles

Kecia Ali in our reading talks about the importance of marriage, money, and sex and the importance of its roles in Muslim America and how muslim american women have a different set of rules then those who do not live in america. First she talks about marriage and the little agreement that they have over dowry. The rules of dowry do not  apply in the same way in the US due to our laws of marriage, yet they can have the same benefits such as property transfer, for legal not religious reasons. She also talks about sex and how the Qur’an talks about the importance of sexually satisfying the female. Dower has a more symbolic meaning in american muslims she explains.In Muslim america there is a shift in the duty of the women and she is not there to run the house, but she can support the household and not follow all traditional aspects of the muslim religion. 

Afsaneh Najbadi in her text talks about ethics and how man and women are supposed to act and what roles they are supposed to play. She says how the man is supposed to be the bread winner and be the one who takes care of the the women financial needs, while the women is supposed to take care of the house and that the only purpose is property and to have kids. Later she talks about how women’s education should start to become a priority and not just something for men to have. 

Both of the readings bring up interesting views of muslim women and their role in society. The man has a lot of control over his wife and what I think is being said is that women need to start to have more freedoms. She is not just property and something that is to be used for just sex. 

A question to think about: What should muslim women roles be in society be, and how fast will it get there?

Week 10

In Kecia Ali’s “Marriage, Money and Sex” she explores the ideology behind the governing of spousal sex and dower.  Marriage obligates the husband to pay a dower to his wife and his commitment to provide for his wife and the household. She talks about a dower being paid either to the family of the bride in exchange for considering her offspring part of the husband’s family rather than her father or brothers and dower being praised for giving the woman economic security  and as an example of the husbands willingness to provide. Jurist however understood dower as compensation for the husbands domination over the wife’s sexual and reproductive ability. The husband is believed to be paying for control over the woman. With the power being bought by the dower, it ‘made sense’ that only the man could liberate the wife through divorce. However the belief of homemaker and provider was not the case for most muslim families instead the husband maintains the wife in exchange for her sexual availability. In the Qu’ran and hadith it describes the importance of sexually satisfying the female and mens responsibilities for their wives to achieve this satisfaction. Husband’s duty rather than wife’s right (6).However when it comes to reproduction it was believed that the right for sexual pleasure was independent form ones choice to bear children. The women could not demand intercourse but the husband could prevent the women from reaching her sexual pleasure by stopping intercourse entirely, therefore not violating her right to pleasure. 

While in Afsaneh Najmabadi’s article “ Crafting an Educated housewife in Iran” she reviews educational regimes that were central in women’s modernity. She begins by talking about Persian books of ethics that were used to create the perfect Muslim man. In these books the man was to be in charge of the household and the children and the only purpose for taking a wife was for preservation of property and to provide her womb for conception and prebirth nurture. A woman would only be considered to teach the child while in the womb for it was believed that emotions would affect and alter the babies appearance, attitudes and whether they are of good nature. She talks about how within the first decade of the 21st century constitutionalist argued that women had the right to be educated for they would be the educators of children and the companions of men while in premodern texts knowledge only pertained to a man’s perception of god and his rules(97). Books were even used to teach favorable behavior in both boys and girls. Boys were to be kind, generous, and not get angry, while girls were shown as well mannered, never hiding anything from their parents, and helping with housework. However in  Kirmani and Ashtiani’s books their central conviction was that progress of the nation was seen as dependent on the progress of women again at the first years of the 21st century several arguments rose that women education should be a priority since from these women a educated nation would rise. The perceptions of women were beginning to change ignorant women were no longer seen as suitable mothers. “ A man who finds his wife in this ignorant condition, he quickly despises her(103).”

Kecia Ali’s article i thought was very interesting because it talked a lot about women having rights such as to sexual pleasure but men’s rights still being able to over power them, he could impede his wife conceiving. Men paid a dower and were in charge of their wives sexual activity. Forced intercourse was not seen as rape but rather as what the wife owed to her husband, rape did not exist in these marriages. Women had rights but were at the same time powerless. While Najmabadi’s articles also mentioned viewpoints on women as what seemed to be just another part of man’s property( just needed for a womb and companionship) but then evolving into women education being a priority for the children would learn from the mother and result in an educated nation. 

Agreeing to Differ

The year 1979 was a challenging year for Iran, more specifically Muslim women in Iran. After the monarchy was replaced by an Islamic Republic, drastic things began to take place. Though religion was not forced upon any of the people, the shari’a law was declared the law of the land. The large group of women who supported the revolution unexpectedly found themselves as outcasts of the new government that began to restructure Iran, proceeding the feminist movement to emerge through the 1980’s and 1990’s.

Ziba Mir-Hosseini’s book gives a personal glimpse into the perspectives on women in Islam through the conversations she shared with Iranian religious thinkers from Qom as well as writings she read in journals, popular press, and other forms of media. One emphasis she makes is the differentiating laws for men and women regarding the same issues. The Hejab, blood money, and guidelines concerning marriage and divorce was often brought up. Mir-Hosseini strongly believes “the law should protect the weak; and social conditions mean that woman is the party in the marriage who needs more legal protection”. The day they are born, women are expected to marry and care for a man the rest of his life. Catering to his desires and demands, without defiance or questioning. Like many men in Qom, Mortazavi found Mir-Hosseini’s arguments redundant and struggled to find any urgent problems in her points. “If everyone had a perfect religious conscience, then our society would be paradise; but it doesn’t work like this…”, seemed to be his bland explanation as to why Iran was conducted the way it was and why such problems could not be solved.

Throughout the conversation, Mir-Hosseini finds herself speaking without any of her words being accounted for. As she consistently displays examples of the inequality and injustice between Islamic men and women, Mortazavi seemed reluctant and complacent to see her point of view. “He was recycling an old argument, which I had heard so many times I knew each line by heart”, Mir-Hosseini reflected. The old argument was that men are by nature polygamous and Islamic law is in coherent with nature, as a result men’s right to polygamy “maintains order in society and protects women”. Mortazavi’s inability to fully grasp the importance of equality for women is in part due to his gender. Growing up, it is likely he never experienced the oppression and unfair treatment women often go through on a daily basis. Mir-Hosseini proceeds to tell him, “Your perspective on the issue…is that of a man. Mine is that of woman and I make no apologies for it”.

Mir-Hosseini’s conversation with Mortazavi is a discourse many women in the U.S. can relate to in some way. Though the feminist movement and fight for equal rights has gained face in the past few years, women’s voices are still not being heard and their arguments are still not being taken seriously. Women around the world have gained opportunities and rights, at one point in time Mir-Hosseini never would have been able to even have the conversation she did with Mortazavi, but there is still a long way to go on the road to complete justice.

Agreeing to Differ, Final Meeting

In Ziba Mir-Hosseini’s “ Agreeing to differ-Final Meeting with Payam-e Zan” she documents her final meeting/interview with Payam-e Zan. She interviews men of the islamic clergy and discusses the inequalities in the Feqh such as the view that women are deffective, unable to lead or be part of Tehad ,and the differences in blood money. When Mir-Hosseini goes on to question why women are made out to be defective, the clerics respond with “you’ve taken it as a definite, a priori that feqh perceives women as defective, inferior. dependent on and secondary to men and that is why it defines women duties differently from mens (174).” As the interview continues many of her questions seem to be unanswered, avoided or taken as an attack on the feqh and its practitioners. Who go on to say they have that they cannot think of a single principle that implies women are defective but rather need protection and support. However in the Sunni Feqh there is a principle that states blood money for women is half of mans because women are defective as well as can not assume a position of judge because of their emotionality and lower capacity for reasoning (175) . Mir-Hosseini questions womens economic value in comparison to men in which they respond to the issue of blood money and women receiving half of that of man and justifies it by saying that it is not based on the value of your own person but based on that duties that will be unfulfilled in your absence, and there are more duties assigned to men than to woman( 180) . She feels a bit frustrated because they could not see that this was an example of gender roles. 

The article was very interesting to read and to see how Mir-Hosseini posed her questions and how she defends what she stands for . As well as the perspectives of the men whom she interview which were at times frustrating.The justifications these men gave for the some of the questions Mir-Hosseini answered were direct examples of the very inequalities she was referring to which could have been frustrating but nevertheless she maintained her composure and i applaud her for that. 

"Agreeing to Differ, Final Meeting"

In "Agreeing to Differ Final Meeting With Payam-e Zan" , Ziba Mir-Hosseini is having her third and last meeting with Payam-e Zan. She is documenting her encounter with him as well as the other men whom she spoke too. Ziba Mir-Hosseini's main question to him is "to explain the inequality between men and women's legal rights". These men have a hard time answering her questions and often avoid answering them. She finds herself having to elaborate her questions more and more because they do not grasp them. It was frustrating for her and difficult because these men were not being completely honest.
They assume that she is trying to find a fault with the past of feqh, and that she does not understand it. One of the men does not consider "differences" as discrimination, although women have different rights compared to men; he does not see it as a bad thing. He tries to switch up Ziba Mir-Hosseini's question and assumes that she is saying "women are defective". This is his way of avoiding answering the question, he laches on to that and goes on about how women are not "defective" and how that was never written anywhere. The value of men and women are different and there are all these "reasons" to justify why women are treated different. Nothing really changes, these men have there opinions set in stone and do not think they are wrong.
Reading this article was at times a little frustrating because of the things these men said. We all know that Muslim women have different rights compared to men, they deserve equality. This equality is hard to achieve because of the set mind people have. I really enjoyed reading everything Ziba Mir-Hosseini had to say and what she stands for.